This whole almost here baby thing is starting to take it’s toll. Some days just feel like a marathon. Granted – I wouldn’t know because aside from a treadmill the farthest I’ve run at a time is a mile. Not necessarily something to be proud of – just being real. Today was a slightly blah day. Definitely some nice moments – moments of encouragement – moments of smiles and perhaps even a little laughter – but for some reason it just seemed kinda neutral.
I think this whole ‘almost here’ baby thing is starting to wear on me. The baby should have been here by now – and it’s kinda weird.
It’s like I’m missing a child I’ve never met – never seen – never heard – never kissed – never so many things.
Stressfully it’s been a busy week – stressful because we were ‘supposed to’ have had the baby 2 weeks ago based on our previous little munchkins – this one (I guess) wants to be different. Go figure. This week I’ve worried about video shoots that might have to be rescheduled – or edits that might have to be pushed out once the baby gets here – or any number of silly things that people would likely accept.
Still it’s strange.
On our walk – pushing the purple stroller around the neighborhood – I couldn’t help feel like there was something about to change. I imagine what it’d feel like to not have one of our children with – and the emptyness there’d be. Invert that thought or feeling, imagine for a moment with me, any day now we’ll have a NEW person added to our family. We’ll have those feelings towards this little person that’s inside her belly right now – but we can’t hear / see / etc her right now.
Strange to feel attached to someone you’ve never “met” in such a way.
So I’m here – outside by our campfire after the kids have gone in for bath time – writing – thinking – contemplating – dreaming – wondering. What will her personality be like? When will she sleep through the night? Will she be a healthy baby? Will the delivery go smoothly? Will these mesquitos stop biting me? Oh sorry.